Living in chaos! ...but surviving! :)

Five kids (especially going from 2 to 5) is so tough....I mean, i knew it would be, but somedays I just feel like crawling into a hole and crying! :( Some moments are wonderful, but some are just plain awful and I wonder why God called us to do this...Then we remember, "it doesn't matter the 'WHY?' and we may never know...we just know that HE DID CALL US TO IT...so THAT'S WHY we're doing it..." And then life just keeps going! :)

I think one of the hardest parts is that we see the GIRLS struggling--feeling neglected, feeling like they get the "backseat", like all the attention and love and care is going to the boys...our totally independent 3 1/2 year old is now super cry-y and cling-y to me (kate) and just flips out if I go somewhere without her...my oldest (6 next week) seems to have gone into a 'shell'--sometimes super helpful with the boys and soemtimes just gets really frustrated that they even are part of the family now.... so then I feel guilty and worried and I MISS being able to give them two all my love and attention...so one of the hardest things is finding ways to show love and attention (fairly/equally) between all 5 kids...

Twins aren't great at sleeping thru the night (ugh! That's a hard one for me!), but we're working on it! :) They are so fun and adorable, that generally I still am happy to see them at the start of another day... :) Abraham has his moments of bringing us joy and adding just a whole new dimension to our life and family as a BOY and now being the OLDEST and all of us trying to communicate with mostly motions--it can be a blast!....yet, he is very stubborn and doesn't seem to have ever been told "no" or "share" before in his life (unfortunately, he was in for a rude awakening coming into our home and having 4 siblings!) So he alternates between: being super loving and playful (he learned how to ride a bicycle for the first time 2 weeks ago, and then 2 days ago decided he could do it with no training wheels! and is LOVING it despite MANY crashes!)-OR - throwing tantrums like a "terrible twos" 2-year-old. And those instances may be totally random--(like b/c I pulled back his bed covers to have him crawl in...weird stuff like that) or they may just be b/c we said he wasn't allowed to hit one of his siblings. Soooo, then we struggle with how to deal with that: time out, time "in" (on our laps, sometimes forced), sent to room for crying on the floor like a baby, or just scooped up and hugged while he's screaming??? Sooooo frustrating!

So yeah, that's life right now. And then by 9pm, Doug and I are soooo exhausted--and the supper dishes haven't been picked up, the mail/bills haven't been paid, the poopy laundry hasn't been thrown in the washer, we haven't exercised, haven't done Bible study, haven't spent "down" time relaxing---but we jsut instead fall into bed.....and the next day starts all over again!!!!! We keep praying that the days get better, our wisdom grows, our time multiplies, and God gives us more and MORE GRACE!!!

And we are soooo THANKFUL for SOOOO MANY PEOPLE who are constantly praying for us, cooking for us, stopping over to HELP us clean up those supper dishes and play with our kids, for allowing us time to take a walk together (thanks, Bosmas!), for just being company to sit here and talk and LISTEN when we're struggling---we love you and are thankful to God for each one of you as we struggle through the challenges of this transition time. We keep praying (and counting on) there being less and less struggles and challenges (and less poopy diapers) and more and more joys and smiles EACH DAY! :)

Home at Last!

Well...we really are HOME...our bed never felt so good (although, we really haven't slept in it TOGETHER all that much), food tastes better here than in Ethiopia (although we really don't have much time to cook--so a huge thank you to people who are bringing meals!!!)---but all in all, we are surviving! Boys are doing really well--Abraham is working on English and we are able to communicate decently with simple words and lots of hand motions! Twins are sleeping most of the night, only waking up once in the middle (unfortunately it's not at the same time, so it still makes for a long night!) Our girls are doing ok--hard adjustment--Sofi is really weep-y, but can't express what's wrong; Abby's having a hard time sleeping....It's all hard for the kids b/c they all want more attention, and it's hard for us as Mom and Dad when we want to give each one so much more attention, but are still just trying to figure each other all out and get used to life with a family of 7!!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all the people who met us at the airport--what a welcome site and huge blessing to be met with hugs and come into the arms of people who love us and have prayed us through this journey (even though we hadn't really slept in 45 hours and had spit up and drool on our clothes and looked horrible!)---we truly love you all!!! And thank you to everyone who is bringing meals, who has watched our girls, who is praying for us, who took our trash, who cleaned our house----we are so grateful!!!

Please continue to pray for us as it's such a huge adjustment! Pray that we will have PATIENCE and that we will BOND AND LOVE EACH OTHER AS A FAMILY!!!

The JOYS of today: Doug taught Abraham how to ride a bike, and we couldn't get him off of it! (yes, VanderKoddes, we also took him to buy him a bike HELMET!) :) And Abenezer is just loving walking all over and checking out his new home! And Yisehak just makes us want to cuddle him constantly with his adorable looks!

arriving in grand rapids

we have cleared customs and are in chicago. will be in GRR on time ..6:38
we were able to take an earlier flight out of Dulles See you soon!

Heading Home

Yesterday went really well at the Embassy. It was very busy and extremely hot... which did not go over well with 3 boys who do not like to sit still. However, God blessed us with an extremely nice Embassy worker who was very excited for us and got us processed quickly. Thank you for all of your prayers on this.

We will be heading to Alemu's house today for coffee and lunch. There he will give us all of our documents/visas so we can head home tonight.

Something extra to pray for... Abraham was out kicking the soccer ball with Joel after breakfast and lost his breakfast in the flowers. We are not sure if he is sick or if he is just feeling very scared. Please pray that he starts feeling better and that the flight home is time for him to rest.

We head to the airport today at 7ish so we can leave Ethiopia around 9:30. We are all anxious and nerves are swirling. Our prayer is that everyone is sleepy and we can rest most of the long flight to Washington Dulles. There we will have to be awake as we go through customs. Then we do some small flights from Dulles to Chicago where we need to be on time so we can catch our flight to GRR. Again we covet your prayers.

Reminder - you are all welcome to come to GRR tomorrow night:
SATURDAY NIGHT APRIL 24th - ARRIVING INTO GRAND RAPIDS, MI --6:38PM--UNITED 7449--(FROM CHICAGO O'HARE, FROM WASHINGTON/DULLES)

Love you all! THX
~Vanden Hoeks

Three Beautiful Boys!

Soooo, wow! Obviously the biggest news is that we now are the proud parents of THREE BOYS, besides our two girls! They are adorable!

Let's see:Monday, we drove home from Awassa and stopped at a cool beach, where we could actually put our feet in the water--it was gorgeous--Doug was missing his boat and wakeboard!

Tuesday, we went to the Merkato (biggest open air market in Africa); TONS of people and lots of "shops"--mud, donkeys, vendors, beggars, lots of spices, and everything from car parts to plastic ware to souvenirs. Then we went to a little bit "safer" street (in the merkato, we actually had 2 "body guards" walking with us) to do some more "shopping" (buying gifts to bring home). At night we went to a traditional Ethiopian dinner and dance show at a restaurant--quite the experience! We were ready to be done with Ethiopian food, didn't enjoy the tej (honey wine), and the music was a little too much after 3 hours!!! (But we DO have some great pics of JOEL DANCING!) :)

Yesterday was the big day, as we went to tour the Holy Trinity Orthodox cathedral, then visit the lions at the lion zoo. At 2:30, we went to Enat Alem orphanage in the pouring rain. As we stood on the tiny office, the nannies brought our boys to us--Abraham ran and threw his arms around me and said "mommy"...and we just hugged and cried! Doug grabbed the twins (Abenezer was super snuggly with anyone and refused to look, play, get down; Yishak wanted nothing to do with any of us except the nannies and Abraham!) Pretty much the same all day...Abenezer is quite fine with holding on tight to anyone who will pick him up, and Yishak cries unless Abraham picks him up and carries him! We're working on it! :) This morning the twins woke up at 4:30 and didn't feel like sleeping again! But we did get to see Abenezer walk--yes, he's walking just fine!!!--and Yishak actually sat on my lap without crying to eat his cereal this morning, then practice walking while holding our hands. Both boys think it's pretty funny to wear shoes! :)

Doug says this is a novel, so I better finish! Twins are sleeping (finally down for a nap) and we are going to play UNO with Abraham and VanderKoddes. So far, Abraham's favorite thing is the camera and looking at people!

Love you all! Getting anxious to be in our own beds with our own schedule, American food, and seein' all your pretty faces!!

Day in Awassa, ET

We had a great day today! Fun breakfast buffet with interesting pancakes, but great eggs with peppers in them!

Then we stopped at a coffee farm...saw what coffee looks like when it's growing on the tree--little green berry-like things---growing in what looks kinda like a small rain forest. (Dad VH--we'll try to bring you some ET coffee home!) Coffee trees surrounded by "false-banana" trees...kinda like walking in the middle of a tall corn field! We got to go into the farmer's home--a large mud and straw hut where there's a fire pit, some benches, and where all the animals sleep next to the people. We sure are humbled---how can we complain about dirty carpet, hard beds, or our water not getting hot enough quickly enough?!? So many of these people have bare mud/dirt floors, no actual beds, cook over a fire, have no running water, and sleep next to their goats and cows.... the world is not fair... We are reminded of how materially blessed we are, but it's pretty hard to be ok in your heart when you see this... The world is not right...it's not the way it's meant to be...

Probably 40 kids clamoured and fought to be around us--I had brought a big bag of candy and they were all yelling and screaming and pushing to get some...Alemu made them sing and dance and tried to get them to stand in a line, but we still just got mobbed! I think they like candy just like the VanderKodde boys and VandenHoek girls do!

After the coffee, we visited EVADO orphanage--got to see the place where our boys stayed---met 2 of the nannies and the director. We brought a soccer ball and bubbles for them to play with us and then to keep--kids LOVED both of them! We tried to get some sense of Abraham, Yisehak, and Abenezer's personality, etc. from the nannies---it sounds like Abraham REALLY watched out for and loved on his baby brothers. That warmed our hearts! :)

Our afternoon adventure was a "hippo tour"---we road in rickety little wooden boats on pretty rough water, with a little 15 horse motor, in a thunderstorm, way across Lake Awassa (huge lake!) to get pretty close to these massive hippos. Dad Busscher, you would have LOVED having your Whaler, we said!!! To both of our moms--we all wore something that looked like a life jacket and we tried not to get hit by the lightning! :) All you could see of the hippos was their heads; they were swimming in about 10-15 feet of water, but it was still a cool experience! We tried to get a lot of pics...and someone please tell our Abby that we are all safe and nobody got hurt! :) Pretty wet and windy ride, but we laughed and said how we wished we had our boat our there!

Enjoying the macchiatos (coffee drink)--that would be Doug; and the pineapple juice--that would be Kate. Trying to eat mostly authentic food wherever we go, but trying not to get sick---Alemu just barely kept us from eating raw ground beef today (we thought it was just really finely diced tomatoes!--dumb Americans!)

Played Wizard tonight with Nathan, Amy, Joel, Doug, Kate (me)--someone, please be proud--I actually came in second place (beating Joel & Doug)!

Anyway, pray for safety tomorrow as we drive back to Addis Ababa in a very cramped van and interesting driving conditions! We're heading to take showers and wash some nasty mud and gross lake water off of ourselves! :)

Safe Travel and Heading South

Thank you all for your prayers over the last few days. We could not have asked for better traveling. All of our flights were on time and all of our luggage come along with us. We could feel your prayers covering us as we have also adjusted quickly to the 7 hour time change and have had plenty of rest.

Today we went out to a small local shopping mall and found a nice restaurant that served really good pizza lunch. Then we headed off to a couple of museums and learned a ton about ancient Ethiopia history and culture.
Fun Fact of the Day: when a man was ready to marry he first had to JUMP OVER 12 COWS!

Tomorrow we head south to Awassa for lunch and Dilla to visit the boy's mom. We are very much excited about the opportunity to learn more about her and her family. Please pray for wisdom tomorrow in having questions that are translated clearly and that we retrieve information that brings peace and encourage to the boys as they grow up in a different family & culture.

Sunday we are headed to the EVADO orphanage in Awassa where the boys were for a few months. We are really looking forward to finally getting to play with the children here (side note: I did have a little boy in the plane rub my hair over and over as I tried to sleep... he quit when the seat belt sign came back on but not before I got a chance to tickle him a few times).

Anyway... I need to head to bed, we are headed off early tomorrow and you all know how great of a morning person I am :)

THX again for your continued prayers... grace and peace to all of you from AFRICA!

~douglas

Tears at Bedtime...

Saying goodbye to our GIRLS is going to prove to be the hardest thing yet...this is not fun! Abby AND Mommy cried at bedtime tonight... Girls are super excited to be getting brothers, but getting sad that we will be leaving them tomorrow. Even Sofi wanted to be cuddly all day today! Prayers needed that we will have good hugs, kisses, prayers and goodbyes tomorrow without lots of tears... :)

Long list of prayer requests...

...and we would SO loved to be covered in prayer! Sooo, here are some things that we would appreciate you bringing before God on our behalf:
1-for the boys' hearts to be open to Jesus
2-travel safety as we head to Ethiopia
3-quick bonding and attachment in our family
4-Abby & Sofi's patience, acceptance, adjustment to their new brothers
5-PATIENCE!!! (now and forever!)
6-quick learning of a little Amharic (for us) and lots of English (for the boys)
7-peace and comfort for the boys' birth-mom
8-love to grow in all of our hearts and knit us together as family
9-for Abraham's grieving heart at leaving his birthmom, country, and everything familiar
10-complete HEALTH for all the boys--no lice, scabies, parasite, worms, HIV, etc.
11-for protection for all of us from malaria, the heat, the altitude while in Ethiopia
12-for our suburban to keep running to carry all 7 of us when we return! :)
13-physical, emotional, spiritual protection for the boys while they are at the orphanage
14-decisions (eventually) as to where to send each of our kids to school
15-unity and growth in our marriage through this sometimes-difficult journey of adoption
16-once home, that filling out all the massive amounts of paperwork for health insurance, life insurance, adoption finalization, social security numbers, citizenship will go QUICKLY, EFFICIENTLY, SMOOTHLY
17-that the trip to Ethiopia will be a JOY, that we will see the beauty and fun that God created in the country that our boys are from
18-anything else that God lays on your hearts to pray for us!!! :)
16

BIRR!!!

Thanks to the Zoet and Buikema families for some birr--that will be helpful for when we get to the airport in Ethiopia and need help carrying our MANY, MASSIVE suitcases! :)

FLIGHT ITINERARY!

We should be arriving in Ethiopia on Thursday night April 15th--7pm local time...(FYI-Ethiopia is 7 hours AHEAD of Michigan time!)

Coming HOME:
WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO COME TO THE AIRPORT IN GR TO BE THERE WHEN WE COME HOME! Feel no pressure, but your faces will be a most-welcomed sight, and we would love to introduce you to our 3 sons! Here is the current plan:

SATURDAY NIGHT APRIL 24th - ARRIVING INTO GRAND RAPIDS, MI --6:38PM--UNITED 7449--(FROM CHICAGO O'HARE, FROM WASHINGTON/DULLES)

United Airlines phone number to check flight--1-800-241-6522

Can't wait to tell you all about our travels!

Getting Ready to Leave...

Soooo, this is the beginning of our blogsite...nothing really special here, but we HOPE to be adding to it over the next couple weeks!

We leave at 12:38pm on Wednesday from GrandRapids to head to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to pick up our THREE BOYS!!! Abraham, Yishak, and Abenezer---HERE WE COME TO BRING YOU HOME TO OUR FAMILY!!! Can't wait!!!

Bags are mainly packed (let's pray that the airline scales are the same as PakMail's scales...'cause that's where we took 'em to have 'em weighed!!!) Let's see: SIX large suitcases, computer bag, 2 well-packed carry-ons, and 2 big backpack/kid carriers that we hope to check at the gates! CRAZY!!!! Thanks so much to people who have done this: the Buikemas, the Hulsemans, the Volks, the Jenkins, the Zoets, the Deters--and SO MANY MORE who have given us lists of advice.... we have made MULTIPLE trips to Meijer and Target to pick up last minute essentials (who knew how much formula, diapers, and over-the-counter drugs we needed to bring?!)...

We are getting super excited...I think for me (Kate), I have finally turned the corner (not completely, but starting) from just fully petrified, chaotic, and panicked to "ready to do this" and beginning to feel at peace. AND to be actually LOOKING FORWARD with eager anticipation for our trip and for our boys to come home. So THAT is a good feeling!!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to everyone who is PRAYING...we know that we cannot do this without God's grace, mercy, faithfulness, goodness, provision, and protection; and we can feel so many people praying those things for us, our girls as they stay home, and for the boys who will be joining our family! Thanks for reading our blog--we HOPE to be able to update it while we are in Ethiopia... We love you guys! Thanks for loving us so well!